In ancient times, water was believed to have healing powers, so water wells became popular with many people drinking, bathing or just simply wishing over it. Some people believe that the guardians or dwellers of the well would grant them their wish if they paid a price. After uttering the wish, one would generally drop coins in the well. That wish would then be granted by the guardian or dweller, based upon how the coin would land at the bottom of the well. It was thus potentially lucky to throw coins in the well, but it depended on how they landed.
The tradition of dropping pennies in ponds and fountains stems from this. Coins would be placed there as gifts for the deity to show appreciation.
Wedding wishing wells have become a common occurrence for many modern weddings throughout Australia, and here on the Northern Beaches of Sydney. A wedding wishing well is an actual three dimensional wishing well that can be bought or hired, and can be made of sturdy wood, or of strong cardboard that can be flat packed. The wishing well is set up at the wedding reception for guests to deposit envelopes with cash, cheques, vouchers, or cards, and to make a wish for the couple’s future as they do so.
In today’s society, many couples live together before marriage and make their home together before their wedding day, so traditional domestic ‘home making’ wedding gifts are not always necessary. Many couples prefer gifts of money or vouchers for their wedding, and this is where the wedding wishing well comes into its own. Many guests even prefer to give cash as a gift as it saves time and the disappointment of couples doubling up on similar items.
Some people firmly believe that mentioning presents on your wedding invitation is a real faux pas, as it implies that the invitation is dependent on the guest bringing a gift. However, with a wishing well, or a gift registry, it is acceptable to include a discreet card with the details of the wishing well or where you are registered.
But if you don’t want to mention the wedding wishing well in your invitation, another option is to allow word of mouth to spread the message to your guests – just inform the bridal party and close friends and family, and they can deliver the news to guests over time through informal conversations or even with a tactful phone call where required.As a courtesy to your guests, it is a nice idea to include your intentions on how to spend the gift money you receive. In this way, guests will feel like they are contributing to something important rather than giving you a colder cash or monetary gift.
Tips:
-Put the emphasis on wishes rather than on cash. Leave some paper or postcards and pens next to the wishing well and ask guests to write a special message with their wishes for your future, and post them in the wishing well alongside any gifts.
– Leave a note or card with the wishing well explaining what it is for, as some guests may not yet be familiar with the concept. You could repeat the poem that you sent out with your invitations, or your wishing well supplier may be able to provide you with a subtly worded sign that tells your guests where to place envelope gifts.
-Like with any wedding gifts, sending thank you cards for your wishing well gift is not only good etiquette, it’s also a nice way to convey to your guests your sincere thanks. However, the nature of the cash gift means that it can potentially be easy to lose people’s details. Some people may place cash into your wishing well anonymously, or they may forget to write on the envelope. To avoid confusion or disgruntled gift givers, it’s also a good idea to also have a stock of plain envelopes around your wishing well.
